CONFIDENT BODY LANGUAGE!
Stay still :
- Keep your head and chin up - this shows that you are not afraid of threats. Anxious people will keep their chin down to cover their vulnerable neck, whereas confident people will keep their chin up because they are not afraid of this
- Keep your head still - unconfident people will always be on the look out for threats and will show it by anxiously looking all around them, never relaxing. To help keep your head still you should find a point in front of you and keep your head in that position
- Stand up straight - it displays confidence, authority, and poise, whereas slouching makes you look unprofessional and disinterested. Don’t step around, tap your feet and sway, to appear confident just be comfortable staying in one place by keep your weight evenly balanced and roll your shoulders back. When you are firmly planted it shows you aren’t afraid of attack
- Have an open, wide stance - it shows you are comfortable where you are, a closed stance will project shyness and a lack of confidence. A good rule is to try and align your legs in line with the area between your hips and shoulders and keep your feet pointed outwards
- When sitting, comfortably lean back into the seat - don’t sit anxiously forward with twitching legs, instead keep your legs firmly planted or loosely crossed and place your hands on your lap, behind your head or you can steeple them if you are making an evaluative decision
- Don’t wave your arms about - instead, you should focus on not fidgeting and keeping your arms in a confident position with controlled gestures and no flapping of the arms or hands. Some confident hand placements are in front or behind the back or in front of the stomach, also try to keep your hands out of pockets when talking to someone, thumbs that are lightly in pockets can sometime display a casual kind of confidence. By showing your hands your prove you are not twitchy and are comfortable with the situation
Relax! :
- Move calmly and steadily - act at a steady pace and do not shoot your limbs about wildly. You don’t have to move stupidly slowly, just do it in a relaxed manner and you will appear nonchalant
- Speak slower - when we are nervous we tend to speed up our speech and we end up confusing others because they can’t hear and understand us properly. So just slow down and speak passionately so others will hear you and know your interested in what you’re talking about
- Take sizeable strides - don’t take short and hurried steps, you need to have a clear destination so it shows that you are confident that you know where you are going and not changing your mind every two seconds
- Use pauses when talking - there is no need to use filler words such as ‘uhm’ and ‘like’ because this ends up distracting the other person or audience from what you are trying to say. Pauses are able to accomplish so much if used right, they can underline the last remark, they can raise the impact of a phrase or word, create anticipation for the next remark, and overall just keep the audience interested by letting them be able to absorb the information
Don’t cover yourself :
- Open up - when people feel scared and vulnerable they cover themselves and use closed body language, such as crossed arms, crossed legs, chin down, hands covering groin area. Confident people will not be threatened and will use open body language and feel no threat that they are exposing vulnerable parts of the body
- Express yourself - you can use your face here to maximum advantage. An expressive person is able to show emotions and easily get their message across. By using emotions such as happiness, anger, fear, sadness, love, surprise and disgust, you will not only reach other people minds, but also their hearts
- Fake it ‘till you make it - be naturally confident, this may be hard but by using the techniques described here you will be able to trick your body into thinking it actually is confident
Be direct :
- Eye contact - eye contact is ESSENTIAL! Some psychologists say it is the biggest indicator of confidence that one can have. You can keep eye contact without feeling awkward by focusing on the eyes for two seconds, then the nose for two seconds, then the mouth for two seconds, and then the face as a whole for two seconds. When talking, you should make eye contact about 1/3 of the time, when you are listening, make it about 2/3 of the time, and for everyday conversation, make it for about 3–4 second bursts at a time, you can hold it for long periods of time with a romantic partner
- Firm handshake - no one likes a weak, floppy handshake! Make sure your hands are dry and warm and you shake with a firm grip but not so firm that it is overly aggressive and is uncomfortable for the other person
- Face them - if you are talking to someone or they are talking to you you need to face them. You can lean in slightly but don’t be to aggressive, when you lean in you are showing interest which makes you appear likeable. Confident people are able to hold their gaze in a relaxed manner and do not look around in search of threats
- Listen: Be interested, not interesting - only anxious and dominant people will try to interrupt others whereas confident people will be at ease listening. When someone is genuinely interested in what someone has to say, it dramatically increases their likability
- Gesture - when making gestures make sure they are limited, smooth and controlled. Gestures are commonly used to amplify a point that is being made. When using your hands during gestures try to make them with your palms facing outwards. By doing this you are giving an illusion of honesty which increases your perceived confidence
Be confident and not arrogant :
- You can’t always be right - arrogant people will always try to be right and will refuse to accept alternative views. Confidence is knowing that they will sometimes be wrong and they will be okay with it and accept their past mistakes
- Welcome alternative views - a self-confident person will be happy with taking others views and perspectives into account whereas someone who is arrogant will dismiss them and stick viciously to their own views
- Prove it with you actions, not your words - arrogant people won’t shut up about how great and awesome they are which is obviously annoying for others. A self-confident person won’t rely on their words to show their areas of strength, they will instead show it with their actions. If you are constantly trying to impress others with your skills and abilities, then you have stepped over the line of arrogance
- Arrogant people put others down - they will try to “win” by making others feel inferior in attempt to make themselves feel superior. They also constantly compare themselves to others so the only way they can feel good about themselves is by affirming their superiority. Confident people will feel happy about themselves without the need for constant comparison with others
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